Sunday, October 9, 2016

what I really want for my birthday

Its about a week until my birthday, and I'll tell you what I want (what I really, really want, and that had better not be a Spice Girls song going through your head right now!) I want a damn lock on the bathroom door that actually works.

I'm the only person in the house who needs to use a lock on the bathroom. Half the time my parents don't completely close the door when they're inside, and Mum is only going to get walked in on by her husband or daughter, who cares right? But me.... I want the door knob fixed.

Dad can't hear the shower running. Dad can't remember someone is even in the bathroom. Dad won't knock. I just want to have a shower and relax without having my ears pricked for every little sound and worrying about getting barged in on.

I live with all manner of unsightly things. I live with constant bickering. I live with worrying about 84 year olds having surgery that they probably shouldn't really be having, and stopping people from doing crazy things they really shouldn't be doing.

I want to sing in the shower and forget my troubles.

When asking my mother about getting the door knob fixed by someone other than Dad I get told "things like that cost money". Oh right. Yep. That must be the world's most expensive big ticket home maintenance item. We can never scrape up enough pennies for that!

Give me a damn lock on the door! Or at least permission to personally pay for someone to come and restore my few minutes of escape each day. That is what I want for my birthday. Sorry for the rant.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

how to kill a blog project you love, in really easy steps (and how to save it)

(A gratuitious photo of the Heavenly place that I live)

Last year I did something I had been building up to and planning to begin for a long time, I started this blog. Yes this tiny thing. I happened to believe that it was worth sharing my experiences living with and caring for my elderly parents. I thought I had a lot to say (I always actually have a lot to say) and I thought it would be really great to build a supportive community for people of all ages as they face elder care and family issues. And then I nearly killed it in its infancy... here is a break down of how....

1. I started a large topic that might never be satisfactorily explained or factually expressed - why does the parent-child relationship get reversed as parents age? - right before my busy season. Busy season for me is preparing for a 3-4 month sales blitz leading up to Christmas, and the endless need to create tray after tray of art pendants, shrink plastic jewellery, air dry clay pendants, kilt and shawl pin brooches, art tiles, art canvases, wrapping and packaging, earwires, and market all of these things successfully online and at handmade markets.

2. I intended to resolve the theme/topic in my next post.

3. I realized I was not in the mental place to complete that topic but would not let go of the idea that the next post I wrote had to follow on exactly where I left the last post on this blog.

4. I lived in the fantasy land that I would one day feel up to the task of completing that topic.

5. More than 6 months of no posting on a new blog that should be gaining an audience and finding its niche were wasted, lets face it I haven't done the maths, but its probably more like 8-10 months. That's a huge period of idleness and hard to regain the attention of the actual people who were enjoying what I had created so far, who I said I'd be here for and wanted to build a community with... oh dear. Blog project death.

But wait, there is light at the end of the tunnel
The magic of time and perspective have allowed me to face up to the mental hurdles and obstinacy that I am solely responsible for and have made me realize a few things. 
The first is that there aren't really hard and fast rules for blogging, I can just write a new article about anything really. Anything I'm genuinely moved to say, and on this occasion its to encourage anyone who has ever boxed themselves into a blogging corner (I call it blogging oblivion) because the only way a blog truly dies is if you decide you can't or won't save it.

Secondly I really started to miss this blog, and realized that a lot of things I really wanted to share were being wasted simply because I wouldn't write them until after I'd resolved the un-resolvable situation I'd mentally created. 

And finally I can say I have the maturity now to pull myself out of blog oblivion and at least for my own sake start processing the things I'm experiencing in life through the therapy of writing, and hopefully connecting with people who can also shed light on what happens to families and individuals as parent's age. 

Phew! I'm so relieved. It feels great to break down those barriers and be free to write again, and if you're reading this, thank you! and please let me know how you feel about it.